He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
