You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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