what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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