just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
