barbara walters just said penis...
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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