He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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