im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
