The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
We have started to decorate penises.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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