SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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