Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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