the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
