Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
