I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
