Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
