Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
