Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
