I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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