pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Randomize
