theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
