as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
