how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
