there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
