He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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