I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
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