Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
