i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
