spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
