Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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