watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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