Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
