the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
are you so shy because you have an std?
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
