I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
