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• (404): View more from Georgia

  My penis looks like a roll of pennies

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Oh. Ok. I get the hint.

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."

  Fav 18 5521 1318

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?

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• (585): View more from New York

  eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.

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• (518): View more from New York

  I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much

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• (870): View more from Arkansas

  Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"

  (1-519): View more from Ontario

  no way

  (519): View more from Ontario

  that's when i decided you were gonna be okay

  Fav 1 1855 777

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• (856): View more from New Jersey

  the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there

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• (501): View more from Arkansas

  I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.

  Fav 4 1185 663

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid

  Fav 0 617 445

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• (949): View more from California

  HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  He came all over her clothes we have to leave

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• (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.

  Fav 0 140 78

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.

  Fav 0 55 11

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