If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
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