They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
