the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
