i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
We are two peas in an std pod
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Randomize
