bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
