Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
