This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
