all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
