I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
