She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
