Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
