Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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