Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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