I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
my sisters under your porch take her home
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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