I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
