Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
