2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
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