I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
