ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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