that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
